FFRC’S “THE WHOLE SCOOP”
By: Cindy A. Gliottone
Welcome to FFRC’s first edition of “THE WHOLE SCOOP”. I thought I would write you some funny short stories about the FFRC cats. It could be about the Residents, the Covies, the Porchies, the Barnies or the Firecats. Will it be real or made up? So without further ado let’s jump into it!
TERRY
For our first story I thought we would go outside the main area and choose one of the Porchies. Hmmmmm! Who should it be about? I know! So how many of you know our lovable porchie Terry? He is the gorgeous and super friendly black and white DSH who gets into mischief quite often. I think I have the perfect story to tell you all!
One fall afternoon at the rescue center there was some last minute winterizing going on for the upcoming winter season and well…..Terry somehow got involved, but he didn’t help with the winterizing he instead came up MISSING! That’s right I said missing. For those of you who know Terry, he is always getting into somewhere he shouldn’t. A shed, Kitty City, delivery trucks, Pawmart and yes even visitors cars. He has absolutely no problem jumping into where there is an open door. We always worry someday he will get himself into trouble. This is his story.
On that fall afternoon last minute preparations for the winter were taking place and Jimmy arrived in his jeep. We all know the rule about don’t leave your car/ truck doors open and be sure to check for cats before you leave. This rule is in place because of…..well Terry! Jimmy was working in Kitty City and needed some tools out of his jeep. He grabbed what he needed and left his back door open just a few short moments. When he returned to close his door he took a quick look and saw that there were no cats inside so he closed and locked it for the night. He was going to drive home with Lynnette. As the day wore on some of us realized we hadn’t seen Terry so we started checking the usual areas to see if he got “locked in’ by mistake, but no luck. Terry sometimes disappears for the day, but always returns by early evening. The joke is he has a girlfriend somewhere close by. When he didn’t return that evening we were pretty confident he would be at the rescue by early morning for when Kim fed breakfast……but when morning came there was no Terry.
It was a Thursday and it just so happened it was a Humane Ohio day. Some of the volunteers working started looking around and calling for him. Again, they checked the usual areas to see if he was locked somewhere, but no sign. Panic started to quickly set in. Thoughts started to enter our minds. Oh my god! What happened to Terry? Could he be hurt somewhere? One of the volunteers was Gem and she walked around looking and calling for Terry, but no luck. She walked the parking lot right past Jimmy’s jeep and still no sign. Suddenly she turned around and saw Terry’s face in the window of the jeep. He managed to get himself locked in!! He meowed as if to say get me outta here! A phone call was made to Lynnette to let her know that Terry was found and that he was locked in Jimmy’s jeep all night. They were quickly on their way.
As for Terry I wonder what was going through his mind. One can only imagine. One of his thoughts might have been “ Oh boy, am I in trouble”. When Lynnette and Jimmy arrived they unlocked the door to let Terry out. He ran and it kind of makes you wonder what he did in there all night. I mean he had to go to the bathroom, right? He must have gotten hungry. I know I would have. After looking inside his jeep Jimmy noticed there was a nice pile of poo on his rubber mat! Thank goodness it was a rubber mat. Terry also managed to eat some snacks he had in the console, but the one thing that really surprised us the most was that Jimmy has a collection of rubber ducks on his dashboard and out of all them Terry managed to knock only one on the floor.
That’s right….he only knocked ONE on the floor. The most amazing part about that is Terry knocked the only rubber duck on the floor that looked like a cat! What are the chances of that? Overall that makes Terry very smart. I mean think about it. He gets locked in without being seen, goes poop on a RUBBER mat, has a few snacks for survival and then knocks a rubber ducky on the floor that looks like a cat.
Maybe we as humans can learn by this very behavior. We could call it survival tips from a Porchie cat and when you get right down to it, this could only happen in Terry’s world.
DOLLOP
Welcome back to another funny story with “The Whole Scoop”. Last time, we met Terry, the Porchie and his adventure. This time let’s take a trip out to the Cove and meet Dollop.
How many of us have a cat that does really weird or even downright strange things? Show of hands please. I see we all raised our hands on that one. I have a story for you, but first let me tell you a little bit about the Covie, Dollop. He is the large all black DSH with thumbs on his front paws. He is very sweet and lovable, but sometimes he can be a bit of a bully. After all, there is always one in the group and in this case, he’s the one in the Cove.
One day I was cleaning the Jonah House and it’s cute to see all of the cats sit and watch me, but never lend a paw to help. I sometimes feel like a cat chasing my tail because as soon as I clean something they feel the need to dirty it. Anyway, this one day, Dollop was feeling a bit frisky and rather mischievous. He would run in and out of the Jonah house like he was being chased. It was quite amusing to see the other cats watching him. It was like he overdosed on catnip and didn’t know what to do with his energy. Dollop would run in one door and out the other and then run back in and jump up on the counter. He would crouch down and watch my every move as if he was going to attack and then dart off like a rocket. I just shook my head and laughed. He actually got some of the other Covies interested from his behavior, so they followed him outside and they started chasing each other around the yard. As a matter of fact, Walter, Walter, Walter even followed the others outside. After I finished cleaning, I heard a weird noise so I went outside to see what was going on and I saw Dollop up in a tree standing on a small branch!! He stood there as if to say “check me out, now how do I get down?” He actually freaked me out because I didn’t want to have to climb the tree to get him down. It was as if he ran out of energy and didn’t know what to do next. I looked at him and said, “you got yourself up there so you can get yourself down.” Geez, did I ever feel like a terrible person. The poor cat was stuck up in the tree and I was going to just leave him there. I mean it’s not like I had a pair of go-go gadget legs so I could just extend my height and get him down. All I could think was this is going to be interesting.
As I watched Dollop, he started attempting to figure out a way to get himself down and the whole time I felt like a nervous Nelly! Here I was standing in the yard of the Cove, underneath a tree, ready to catch a cat who somehow felt like he was invincible for just a few short seconds. Suddenly Dollop realized, Whoops! Houston we have a problem! At that moment, I could have really used a trampoline. I took a deep breath and noticed that some of the Covies were just standing around watching. It’s like they were saying “Dollop my boy, you have really done it this time”. I decided to step away so I didn’t make him nervous. I could see the wheels turning in his head and then in the blink of an eye he dropped from the tree and touched down on all fours. Whew! He landed like a very well trained gymnast. I of course gave him the motherly pep talk to which he looked at me and took off running. He totally ignored me! I guess the only way to sum this up is that Dollop is just like any other little boy on the playground. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
WALTER, WALTER, WALTER!
So for this next story it can’t be anything but funny because it is about Walter the Covie. He is the gray DSH who has CH and is deaf. He is also known as Walter, Walter, Walter. I think to sum up Walter’s personality would be to say he is just….. HILARIOUS!
I work in the Cove everyday, seven days a week and believe me when I say no day is ever the same. I am sure there is something funny going on each and every day, but I don’t always see it. I did, however, catch this one incident involving Walter and it cracked me up. When I think about it, this was almost typical of Walter and for those of you who know him, you will probably agree with me.
It was morning and I headed down to the Cove to begin my shift. The first thing that happens is I walk in the Jonah House and I get attacked by 11 cats. I wouldn’t say attacked literally, but it’s like a game of ring around the rosey with me in the middle. Each cat is watching me closely and I can almost hear them saying, “Where is our second breakfast”? Oh, and “You’re taking too long”! I have a system that I try to follow, but most times there is a fly in the ointment or sometimes I like to change it up. This one day I decided to head down to the red barn and then over to Grizzly and Spotty’s shed first before feeding the Covies. I pulled out my trusty orange tray and loaded it up with yummy plates of goodness and then fought my way to the door. As I headed to the gate I noticed I was being chased after by several of the Covies. I could only imagine what was going through their minds, maybe something like “Hey we haven’t eaten in 3 hours, give us those plates”! I make it to the gate and out I go.
When I returned a short time later, the Covies were acting like they were starving to death, but we all know that would never happen. I grabbed some plates and started feeding when suddenly I couldn’t find Walter! I caught myself calling him and quickly realized he is deaf so I probably wouldn’t get a response. I looked around the room…. no Walter. I went outside and checked the yard…no Walter. I looked everywhere and once again, like a nervous Nelly, I started to panic! I stood in the Jonah House watching the others chow down like it was their last meal and thought, if I were Walter where would I go? I started thinking about the time Walter and some others got out of the Cove by accident and Walter was found sleeping under a bush. We don’t have a bush in the Cove so that was not an option. Hmmmm! It’s not like him to miss a meal. I wondered for a brief moment if Magic and Egypt could help me solve this mystery and then I realized I was getting way ahead of myself. I stood there a moment and decided I would remain calm because there had to be a logical explanation for Walter’s disappearance. Did he really disappear or was he right under my nose?
A few minutes had passed and I started picking up some of the empty plates when all of a sudden the cupboard door flew open and there was Walter!! He tilted his head to the side and let out a mighty meow as if to say HERE I AM!! He started pushing cans of cat food out of the cupboard and onto the counter and the floor as if to express his dissatisfaction with breakfast. I admit for just a few short seconds I wanted to give him the “you scared me half to death speech”, but instead I enjoyed the best laugh ever. I never get tired of Walter’s antics because he never ceases to amaze me with the stunts he pulls. It’s true what we say at the rescue, that cats with handicaps ARE handicapable and Walter is proof of that.
RAMSAY a.k.a RAMBO
Ah Ramsay….what can I say about him? Well, he is the most amazing, handicapable and most adorable CH boy ever. He has the most stunning blue eyes and a very funny personality. He also has many nicknames such as Rambo, Rammy, Rambo Dean and last, but certainly not least DR.NO! I don’t think he has just one funny story. He has many and all are unique to him.
So to begin this week’s story I realized my mind is flooded with the antics of Ramsay and couldn’t decide on what to write about. Yes, you heard me correctly. I do not know what particular Rambo moment to write about soooooo, I thought I would just tell you a few. First off, for those of you who don’t know him, he is the handsome siamese that is usually sitting in one of his cars. He owns TWO Ferrari’s OH, and a Mercedes! He is Defiance’s fastest race car driver. How do I know this? Open up his glove box and you will see the many speeding tickets he has. I bet you’re wondering why he hasn’t paid them? I will explain it to you the way it was explained to me by Rambo himself. When he gets stopped by the police, most times it is from a female police officer. One look at his baby blues and he melts them. All the ladies LOVE Ramsay. I know this is true because he does it to me daily. The officer gives him the ticket, but tells him not to pay it, just slow it down. The officers don’t want any heat from their captain so they give him a “bogus” ticket and off he goes with a snicker. I think Ramsay keeps them as souvenirs.
Next, comes his feeding and potty time and it will make you smile. This is where his alter ego, Dr. No comes into play. I must admit Ramsay has definitely expanded his palate with different foods, but deciding which one to give him on any given day is where the fun begins. It’s like eenie, meanie, miney, moe what should I give Dr.No. In all honesty, he is not always Dr. No, but when he doesn’t want something he will let you know. He either turns his head to one side or sometimes lifts his foot to push the bowl away as if to say “I don’t want that, you eat it”. We try again with no luck and once more until he adamantly shoves it away. You can’t get mad because he is just too darn adorable. I can say that when all else fails his favorite food is chicken. He goes at it with a vengeance, taking mouthfuls and flinging it everywhere. It is usually the food of choice when all else fails. When it is time for potty Ramsay will most times let you know by dancing and fidgeting in his bed, but for the most part he gets pottied every 2 hours. I can bet all of your cats have a particular bathroom ritual that they go through before going potty and Ramsay is no different. I have put him in the litter box where he would dig frantically as if searching for gold and in the midst of digging, he somehow does a handstand and buries his face in the litter. YIKES! He emerges with a face full of litter.
There is more to Ramsay than just us helping to feed and potty him. He is very capable of doing whatever he wants on his own. Although he doesn’t walk very much, he can and will when he wants to. It may be a bit of a struggle, but when he achieves his goal his little face lights up and you can tell he is proud of himself as are we. He is a very determined little guy. Another thing about Ramsay is he responds to music. For instance, at Christmas, we have several of the dancing musical toys. When you press the button they start to sing and dance and so does Ramsay. He bops his head to the beat of the music and it is absolutely adorable. He gets very excited and seems to really enjoy himself. Overall, I would say he is one very happy little guy. Oh and did I mention he’s spoiled? He knows we will bend over backwards to meet his needs.
One of the stories I wrote with Ramsay is truly my fav and that was when Derecho and Magic flew all of the residents to the North Pole to help Santa with Christmas and Ramsay got to fly his Ferrari next to Santa’s sleigh. It was decked out with lights, a rudolph nose, antlers and a horn that played Christmas music. The elves put the finishing touch on by helping to make his Ferrari fly. He was the envy of all the residents. Of course, each resident had their own magical moment with Santa.
Every morning I give Ramsay a hug and a kiss and he is always such a happy boy. I don’t think I have ever seen him in a grumpy mood. Maybe it has something to do with getting hold of Mama Megan’s credit card and speeding down Clinton Street for ice cream and pizza. Whatever it is, his personality can’t help but make you laugh and smile and that’s what makes him so handicapable.
